


No Other Version of Me

by prin_zyth



Category: Seraphina - Rachel Hartman
Genre: Coercion, Don't Like Don't Read, F/F, I kinda hate myself for writing POV Jannoula but here we are, Internalized Homophobia, Jannoula is a manipulative freak who needs to stay approximately 19374017491837 miles from my gals, POV Jannoula, almost? I'm not totally sure but it could be called coercion I think, i can't accurately tag it as non-con but the jannoula/glisselda in this is very coerced so be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 05:34:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19805800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prin_zyth/pseuds/prin_zyth
Summary: Jannoula had never met anyone that she couldn't crack. Sometimes, like in the case of most of Goredd, it took mere days. And sometimes, like in the case of the Old Ard, it took years. But no one was unbeatable, and she was inescapable. Jannoula knew how to mirror another person or how to become their opposite, how to pretend to agree with them or to change their perspective entirely.This young Queen would be no different. She just needed to find an opening.





	No Other Version of Me

Jannoula had never met anyone that she couldn't crack. Sometimes, like in the case of most of Goredd, it took mere days. And sometimes, like in the case of the Old Ard, it took years. But no one was unbeatable, and she was inescapable. Jannoula knew how to mirror another person or how to become their opposite, how to pretend to agree with them or to change their perspective entirely.

This young Queen would be no different. She just needed to find an opening.

Glisselda had been handed an impossible burden. But so had Jannoula, forced to bring her people together and declare their superiority. She wouldn't even have to pretend for Glisselda to see that they had that in common.

They sat in the Queen's Study, drinking tea and discussing the court meeting from which they'd just returned. 

Glisselda sighed and said absently, "I wish Phina were here. She would know just what to do."

Jannoula sat up a bit straighter and leaned forward slightly, waiting for the Queen to continue.

Glisselda glanced over at Jannoula as if only just remembering that she was there. She looked down self-consciously. "I'm sorry. I know that she betrayed you. But it was so long ago, and the Phina that I know-"

Jannoula cut Glisselda off by reaching out and taking her hand. She waited for the Queen to look her in the eye before saying, "You don't need to apologize for your feelings, Glisselda." She'd taken a gamble by using the Queen's first name, and for a moment, she thought that she had gone too far. Her words seemed to have stirred something in Glisselda, who had withdrawn her hand and looked suddenly very fragile.

It was something else, though. "But what if I do, Blessed? What if my…feelings are unnatural, sinful? How can I lead my people when I myself am inherently corrupt and immoral?"

Jannoula resisted the urge to draw her face into a smug grin. This made sense, and she should have known that Glisselda's love for Seraphina went beyond friendship. A shared burden would have been a strong opening, but this was brilliant.

"Phina is not who you think she is, Majesty. She didn't just betray me; she condemned me to a life of neglect and torture. I do believe that she means well, but she just doesn't understand the world in the way that women like us do."

Glisselda sank even farther into her chair. Jannoula went on.

"When she comes and we are all together again, we can explain this to her. Together. I may have lost her love, but you don't have to. I will help you."

That did the trick; Glisselda was crying now. "Thank you, Blessed. Your saintly generosity is a gift that I do not deserve."

"Then why are you crying?" Jannoula asked, tucking her short, brown hair behind her ear in a demure movement that belied her knowledge of the answer to her own question.

Glisselda covered her face with her hand and turned away, not-quite-whispering, "Because I pity you. I can't imagine losing Phina's love. I don't know how I would…I mean…"

Jannoula sat back, feigning shock and disgust. "Are you saying that you are…"

Glisselda nodded quickly and let out a choking sob, continuing to keep her face turned so that Jannoula couldn't see her.

"It's sinful, I know. And I've tried to change, I really have. But then she laughs, or she smiles, or she says anything at all, and…"

Jannoula let her pause for a moment, not wanting to interrupt this confession. She couldn't let the Queen have a way to walk this back later.

She continued, "I had hoped that when she left, I would be able to address this, to fix myself. But I find myself missing her more every day, and I know that I cannot change this…perversion."

She was done, apparently. Jannoula reached out and lowered Glisselda's hand from where it was covering her face; the Queen complied, but still refused to look at her.

"It's like I said: Seraphina doesn't understand true burden as women like us do."

"Like…us?"

That had gotten her attention. She finally turned her head back to face Jannoula, her eyes rimmed with pink, her cheeks stained with tears. The hope was obvious in her voice, and Jannoula met it with a carefully calculated smile--understanding but not quite supportive, loving but not quite forgiving. It was expertly designed to keep the Queen just where she needed her--in a place of vulnerability.

Jannoula placed her hand on Glisselda's cheek; the young woman couldn't hide her surprise as Jannoula stroked her tears away with her thumb and leaned in to kiss her. At first she kissed back, but after a few seconds, she retreated in shock, throwing her hands up between herself and the saint.

"Blessed, I…I can't do this. I need to be here for my people. I can't have any distractions. And Phina…"

"…will never love you as you want her to. As you need her to." She stood up and walked around to the back of Glisselda's chair, placing her hands on its back authoritatively. She leaned down to the Queen's ear so that her lips were almost brushing the side of her face. "But I can, if you let me. With me, you won't have to be alone forever. I am the only one who can ever truly understand you, Glisselda. Can you settle for a saint, Majesty?"

Glisselda didn't say anything. Instead, she turned and nodded subtly. She was staring at Jannoula's face but not meeting her gaze, looking just below her eyes. She seemed utterly terrified.

Perfect.

Jannoula leaned in and kissed her for a second time, and this time, Glisselda didn't pull away. And when Jannoula's hands began to explore the Queen's figure, she stiffened but didn't protest.

She would've laughed if she could. Goredd's leader had fallen, in more senses than one, and soon the rest of the queendom would follow. Jannoula now had complete control.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from here: http://www.generatorland.com/usergenerator.aspx?id=22501
> 
> Hmu on Tumblr @foughfaugh or @incorrect-seraphina to talk about literally any of Rachel Hartman's work :)


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